Who says I always have to have something earth-shattering or brilliant to write to offer people? I will be accepted and liked just because I’m me, not because I’m useful.
A person who is authentic, and cannot compromise being so, is brave.
What do they want from me? I don’t have something to offer that is ‘as good/amazing/inspirational’ as what the others have contributed. Or do I?
Who says I have to spend all of my time doing what others expect from me/need/want me to do? Who says it’s not my own perception that I’m projecting onto them? It is a common belief we teach others how to treat us. If this is true, then who says we can’t teach them not to expect so much?
Who says we can’t relax and just enjoy being ourselves, pursuing those creative dreams that make our hearts and minds dance and sing, swell with conviction and joy?
Who says I can’t sit here each morning and write for the love of writing stories, poems, articles, thoughts, whatever comes? I so need and love to write and create, but often feel pressured to produce ‘something good’ and I choke on the words.
I literally stumble and cannot write coherently on the page, too often, so often. Over-think the fragments of a blog post I’ve written and decide not to publish it. Or keep stalling on persevering on a longer project, organizing my work, or finishing that eBook, and getting it out there, for instance.
As I’m writing, I know this is bullshit. I can finish; I just psyche myself into doubting I can. I stop there, don’t walk through the resistance to the other side. Ok, but I do come back and try again the next day…
Who says you need to tough it out alone? The writer’s life is arduous and too much time is required to do your creative work in solitude already. You need support and companionship from kindred souls. Be it with other creatives or having a brief but pleasant exchange with the young cashier at the grocery store.
Every day, you need to feel known somehow. Or you falter.
Who says if we need such encouragement constantly that we are failures, or not strong enough or annoyingly self centered? Think of how much kindness and help you spontaneously give to others – freely. With love and the utmost respect in your heart.
Who says you can’t allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help from others so you can experience the same supportive love and respect back to you? Who says?
Thanks to Charlotte Rains Dixon and Jessica Baverstock’s Punch for Prompt which gave me: Who says? As serendipity would have it, immediately after writing this piece, I participated in a good discussion about releasing what you think others expect of you and focusing on true self-expression during a 5 Good Hours program session led by creativity coach Sue Mitchell.
Make sure to take the time to go read Jessica’s three great stories based on some of the prompts on Creativity’s Workshop as well as all her other great content.
Photo credit: Thanks to manicmorff on Morguefile for letting me morph his owl in Photoshop to include with my post.
Timeless mesassage, Carole.
Right on time for me again.
Oh Terri, I’m so glad. You were a big part of encouraging me which in turn inspired me to go ahead and post this piece without editing it that day, the first time
Great big hugs to you.
Way. To. Go.
Laurie Buchanan recently posted..The Safest Distance Between Two Points
Big smile here. Thanks so much, Laurie. I’m going to copy your comment onto an index card, dress it up with enthusiastic doodles and colour, and put it with my other affirmations on my desk
Who says a blog post can’t be written in a way to inspire the author while also inspiring others? That’s what you’ve done here, Carole Jane. Kudos.
Sue saw this replacing “So” as an answer to doubt. I was reminded of the prompt “And,” in which after expressing a negative, say “I haven’t found any time to write this week,” you say, “And…” and wait for the positive answer to follow, such as “And that’s fine, because I’ll make time tomorrow.”
I’m pleased to see you built this off of one of the prompts from Charlotte and Jessica, and it led to an exchange led by Sue. I’m thinking of this line of your post: “Who says you need to tough it out alone?”
Patrick Ross recently posted..AWP Nugget: 9 Tips for a Successful AWP
Ooh, I had forgotten about that “and” one. I used to use that quite a bit but forgot all about it. Adding that to the list of handy comebacks and reframing prompts.
Sue Mitchell recently posted..When Not Working is Part of the Work
Hi Patrick,
And…I’m so glad I risked writing this piece because it seems quite clear that none of us have to tough it out alone, really.
I’m really enjoying Charlotte and Jessica’s (oh, and I won’t forget her dear brother this time!) Punch for Prompt
Great post, Carole!
I’m fascinated by the wonderful lives of writing prompts. They really can take you in any direction.
Thank you for sharing the results!
Jessica Baverstock recently posted..Prompted Writing: Will You Help Me?
Hi Jessica,
I’m pleased as…’punch’ that you created such a fun incentive to get more writing done. Thanks!
Very inspiring words you have shared my dear friend CJ with other writers and the world at large. These wise words of yours can be applied to anyone`s life as they answer one of the most fundamentals questions we human beings have…doubting ourselves and our abilities to succeed. Be it in our families,relationships,work and all the other passions we want to achieve or simply have time for to enjoy.
Who says indeed that I can`t just be who I am, as of today and that`s perfectly okay!:-)
Indeed, Anne-Marie, as you yourself continue moving forward and pursuing your own goals despite some hurdles and sharing so openly all you are learning with those around you, your ‘perfectly okay’ self is also encouraging and challenging others to do likewise. Thanks so much for stopping by here!
I’m sure glad you posted this Carole! I knew it would be good, but you took “good” to another level, this is GREAT!
I like Sue’s idea to print the owl as a reminder.
I love the question, “Who says” and your bravery to share your answers to it because it is very similar to how I would answer it. Now I know I’m not alone. I’m wondering if you have been living in my head…in my heart and soul too!
Your honesty beams through every word of this. I like that about YOU!
Aww, Terri, you’re such an encourager! So glad you related to what I wrote. I’m so grateful to the community of such talented, caring creatives I’ve met online, yourself included. Thanks again for your valuable feedback
Kudos on a bold and beautiful post! “Who says?” might replace “So?” as my new comeback when I think stupid stuff like that I have to go it alone or avoid asking for help. I think I will print out this owl as a reminder.
And what I love about this particular comeback is that it’s safe to answer it, unlike “So?” which could lead you down the path of, “Then this might happen or that might happen…” The answer to “Who says?” is no one — I made it all up myself. That gives me the power to change it.
So glad you published this, Carole! I absolutely love the feistiness of it, too.
Sue Mitchell recently posted..When Not Working is Part of the Work
Thanks, Sue. I thought “Who says?” sounded more empowered as well. It sure felt like it when I was writing the piece
Oh wow, this is amazing. I struggle with so many of these, especially the “Who says we can’t relax and just enjoy being ourselves, pursuing those creative dreams that make our hearts and minds dance and sing, swell with conviction and joy?” While I’ve gotten over feeling guilty writing (probably because I make money at it) I still have a hard time relaxing with my love of knitting and needlepoint, doing it just because I love it. Thanks for a fantastic post.
Charlotte Rains Dixon recently posted..Writing as an Act of Discovery
Thanks for all the praise, Charlotte. I’m enjoying the Punch for Prompt feature on your website! I wrote this post in longhand first, by the way. I’m really enjoying using a fountain pen again. When I was initially working on it, I thought it was going to stay in my notebook as a freewriting exercise, but then I got the audacious idea it might be something I could send out to fellow creatives as a blog post
Hey, knitting or needlepoint (or creative time doing any other handicrafts) is never wasting time, in my opinion. I love quilting and knitting yet haven’t allowed myself to indulge in a few hours here and there for over a year now when I really could use the break away from the computer. Time to change that methinks!
This was electrifying! I just bookmarked it in my Classic Posts folder. Thank you so much for writing this – and then posting it for the rest of us to benefit from.
The picture of the owl with the penetrating gaze and the big Who? planted squarely on his forehead goes perfectly with the heartfelt messages I took from your words.
Milli Thornton recently posted..Woody Allen’s Sensational Success Tip for Writers
So glad this post ‘sparked’ something for you, Milli and you found it useful:) Thanks for the encouragement; I must confess I did hesitate before pressing the ‘publish’ button on this one.