Editor’s note: This post was previously published last spring.
My hairdresser just bought a house for herself.
When I went in to get my hair cut a few weeks ago, she informed me that she was terminating the lease on her little salon on the main street of our little rural town and setting up shop from her new, first home.
I was delighted for her, but didn’t get a chance to congratulate her as she ushered me quickly into the barber’s chair, launching immediately into an agitated rant about all the things wrong with the place.
She managed to mention a few interesting details in the course of her diatribe, however.
Like how little it cost her in comparison to other similar homes in the neighbourhood, and that she had at least two handy friends who were going to do all the repairs for free; she’d only have to pay for the materials!
I sat there observing her in the mirror, as she tugged and snipped at my hair, alternatively punching the air with the comb in her hand to emphasize her exasperation. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Plus, frankly, I was holding my breath, a wee bit worried about how my hair would turn out!
As soon as I got the chance, I tried to encourage her by sharing the view from my chair: how lucky she was.
First, to get such a deal like on a house in that highly sought-after residential area was rare.
Secondly, although it was unpleasant to discover she had more repairs to take care of than she bargained or budgeted for (a logical consequence when one forgoes hiring a house inspector before closing on purchase) she had at least two willing and skilled friends donating long periods of their free time to do the work.
Poor woman just quickly nodded in agreement but couldn’t leave the negative mindset behind her. My words were barely cold from my lips when she continued on another tangent about those ‘terrible, nasty surprises.’
For all I know, weeks later, she’s probably sitting comfortably on her new porch sipping wine and still complaining to whomever will lend an ear…
For the creative solopreneur starting out, things can seem insurmountable at times. Challenges are a regular occurrence and it can get overwhelming.
We can get discouraged easily; it’s a hard, long, lonely slog of our days, without many tangible results or rewards in sight. It’s tempting to engage and stay in the ‘woe-is-me’ mindset and stay stagnant, or even give up, feeling justified by our circumstance to do so.
But what would happen if we decided to look at the whole scenario from a different, positive angle rather than just focusing on how many things aren’t progressing as well or as fast as we thought or planned?
If you put on the lens of gratitude over your eyes, what do you see?
You can see that you’re in a rather privileged position, having the creative talent, the courage, the skills and the general wherewithal to start your own business.
You’re creating something that never existed before you came along!
You get to forge your own path, and encourage others to do likewise with their talents and creative career aspirations.
There are so many others who feel trapped and despondent in jobs or life situations they believe they can’t get out of. You’ve found a way to start on an exciting vocational path that will afford you lots of freedom and life satisfaction that others will never have access to (or if they have the potential they will never follow through with trying to make that dream into reality).
You can choose to constantly get distracted and stopped in your tracks by all the negative things that fly in your face as you make your way forward.
Or you can brush them stoically aside, bringing gratitude back to the forefront of your mind. Be strongly encouraged and motivated to actively and constructively move ahead, make tangible, measurable progress.
Make a positive difference for yourself and others in this predominantly negative society we live in.
It’s just a matter of perspective, isn’t it?
By the way, my haircut turned out pretty awesome, much to my amazement, and despite the artiste being distracted. After all, my hairdresser is a very talented creative solopreneur 
Photo credit : kateausburn on Flickr
“For the creative solopreneur starting out, things can seem insurmountable at times. Challenges are a regular occurrence and it can get overwhelming.” So true. There’s an unpredictability about it. My kids are home this week, and they’ve seen a bit of that. I got a call this morning offering a new writing gig, which I took, then another call over lunch that a job had fallen through. I think “creative solopreneurs” must be wired differently, like NBA players known as “shooters.” They can miss 10 jump shots in a row, but take the 11th with no fear of missing. You almost have to have that mind-set, that you just keep going.
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Ah, Patrick, that’s a drag about the job falling through;hope you had at least a kill fee as a condition in your contract?
That’s really interesting about the NBA ‘shooters’; I just assumed the regular players went for those solo shots when the occasion arose! Talk about pressure for sure. You’re right; we seem to be compelled to just have to keep going, even when we’re not sure what’s ahead!
I keep having this image in my mind of the day very soon when we all will be celebrating the publication and success of your first book, and other fruits post-MFA. I’m also so very glad you’re teaching some courses. Your students reap the rewards of all your years of valuable experience and creative expertise, not to mention they’ll probably have a great time (you’re far from the droning boring professor stereotype!).
Carole, I ditto Sue, you are such a good writer! I’ve always thought that since I first started following your posts. I love your perception too.
I thought about it and determined that when I’m obsessively discussing (usually listing) all the things going on (and when there is a decidedly negative tone about it) like the hairdresser, it is usually because I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because there is more going on than I can process or there is too much to do and I feel like I can’t do all that is necessary for me to do. It usually takes me a while to shift as you suggest, but it always works to stop the spiraling when I do. (Not sure I fully grasped the concept here or not but that is what came to mind as I thought about it.) Good post, it made me think.
Though I’m not a solopreneur, I observe them. From what I can see, being a solopreneur is not for sissies. I’m pretty impressed by the tenacity it takes to hang in there!
Thanks, Terri. Regarding the feeling of overwhelm (which I identify with very, very much), I’ve found it to be beneficial to ‘blurt it all out’ in a notebook rather than keep it going ’round and ’round in my brain. After doing this, I can usually see the forest for the trees, identifying which things I want or need to commit to doing that day, and which ones to put off to another time. When I don’t purge these overwhelming thoughts on paper, I find those are the days when I struggle running around like a chicken with its head cut off!
Was suggesting that the hairdresser was experiencing overwhelm which is what I experience when I behave like the hairdresser in your post. The way I heard it was she was obssessively listing all that was wrong with her new home (and not in the gratitude)….maybe she was experiencing overwhelm hence the reason she was listing the negatives about her new home purchase. Perhaps she could use a pen and paper to blurt it all out too! Good suggestion, I use it often. It works for me too.
Maybe I missed something???
Hiya,
Nope, you didn’t; we’re on the same page!
I so appreciate the value you add to the conversation here, Terri.
Timely post. Thank you! I loved your story about the hairdresser. I could almost feel every snip (especially the ones close to the ears
).
As a long-time solopreneur (even though I often feel like I’m just getting started), I know how easy it is to get bogged down in the perceived problems and then feel frustrated and unfulfilled.
Recently it hit me afresh what a cool and creative career I have, which I often overlook because of issues like irregular income and reluctance about marketing and promotion. But ever since I reminded myself that others would love to do what I’m doing (which made me appreciate what I have), everything has been breezing along and the frustrations seem less.
Great perspective, Milli. I was thinking along the same lines this afternoon as I sat on a park bench writing and watching the river flow by in front of me, the sun doing its darndest to warm me up (there was quite the brisk wind blowing the pages of my journal around out there today!).
Nippy as it was, I was so grateful how I get to have such freedom in my day, and as you mentioned, to be able to pursue the creative career of our choosing is such a privilege. Even if I succumb to bouts of temporary discouragement or frustration, I’m relieved how this reality comes to ‘whoop me upside the head’ to set me straight
“Whoop me upside the head.” LOL! I love it.
Your journaling session next to the river sounded just lovely.
Thanks for the compliment on my writing, Sue. I’m pretty sure we all must have at least one ‘thriller’ from the hair salon to share
As a creative solopreneur just starting out, it can be quite disheartening to read blog post titles like, “Top 10 ways you are totally screwing up so you might as well just give up right now.”
Ok, we all know there hasn’t been that EXACT title published out there
But from what I’ve observed, there seems to be an imbalance of focus on business advice from that negative mindset (sharpen and scare you into success) rather than positive guidance or grateful intention. I totally agree with you that it’s imperative to remind ourselves of the equal or greater number of things that are going WELL and to keep those things top-of-mind to motivate us as we ‘take off’, to persevere even if not many are present at ‘lift off’ and not to give up.
Well said! And I totally recognize your hairdresser. We’ve all met her! (And we’ve all watched nervously as someone like her cut our hair a wee bit too fast and furiously!)
You’re such a great writer. I feel like I was there!
I wish everyone starting out in business would read this because I really believe that unless you focus on the positive, it’s very likely you’ll be discouraged right out of business before your business every really gets a chance to fly. But once you start looking, there are an equal or greater number of things that are going well or that you can be grateful for.