Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride. - James Taylor
Editor’s note: This post was first published last spring. Learning proper self-care for the busy creative is an ongoing challenge, so I thought I would share this one with you all again!
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time, sings James Taylor.
How right he is. I really love this song; it soothes me like a lullaby at times when I feel overwhelmed and my life is charged with strife and tension.
Maybe I should correct what I’m saying: when I allow myself to get overwhelmed when hardship and stressful circumstances challenge me in my life.
Gentle is as gentle does.
Be a kind friend to yourself and actually act upon the advice you read about and often give to other frazzled people in your sphere of influence.
As you encourage others to practice good self-care, realize it’s just as applicable for you too. Don’t just hastily shove the idea in the back of your mind with: This sounds really good and I’ll get right to that as a priority as soon as I/as soon as this…
Go easier on yourself today, in the midst of the storm.
I dare you to test this theory out: Make the time (let’s say 1 hour) to do something that is truly relaxing and something you want to do (housework doesn’t count!). I bet you’ll discover that you’ll accomplish way more than if you didn’t take the break. You might even be surprised and manage to get ALL of the ‘urgent’ stuff done.
Have you ever experienced that in your day? Think of it as some kind of magical redemption of time. Or what you believed was urgent turns out to be something you can put off to the next day without the world coming to an end. And so it goes.
Case in point: I’ve been neglecting my writing and creative practice time lately. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been stressing and working long hours on a huge website project I have to finish on deadline for a client.
I’ve also been distracted over the past week dealing with (yet another) family emergency and it’s been difficult to stay focused and soldier on with my hectic work schedule. I’ll be honest, this one is a bit of a heartbreaking situation and I’m sick with worry about all the consequences we as a family will now have to endure. I’m pretty much exhausted at this point – emotionally and physically.
This morning, a friend of mine posted this moving quote on Facebook:
Gentle change leads to permanent results. Don’t rush the changes you wish to see in your life, but gently make little tweaks of improvement. Very soon you’ll see life beginning to unfold with more ease, joy and glory. Be gentle. (source unknown)
I decided to follow this sage advice and my weary heart’s prompting and take the time for creative practice, for some writing.
I decided to do it right away, not put it at the bottom of my to do list as I regularly do.
Yes, I wrestled with myself for several minutes, but managed to push any anxiety aside that I should be working on that big website project for my client first and then when things let up, then I could take the time to write and develop creative projects.
This is how I put into practice what I preach, my fellow creative. I share this blog post with you all in the hopes that you will honor your own creative practice, and not let another day go by neglecting it.
You and I are relentless slave drivers with ourselves. It’s time to cut ourselves some slack. Really. Not just nod in agreement when your loved ones affectionately berate you for not doing so. Don’t just give them and yourself some vague promise to look after yourself at a later time, when things settle down.
Good intentions won’t change your life. Little steps will eventually yield big rewards.
Don’t you desire to have a life filled with more ease, joy and glory? I know that my heart and mind leapt with a ‘hell yes!’ when I read the gentleness quote (ok, it was more or a wistful ‘oh how I really wish it were possible’).
Imagine how it would feel if you took care of yourself enough, really made it a regular habit, to allow the peace, joy and glory to replenish and energize you instead of overworking, over-thinking yourself into exhaustion, time and time again?
Imagine how productive, imaginative and prolific our creative practice, our lives, would be!
Guess what I realized? I don’t have to settle for simply imagining the possibility, and neither do you.
You and I can decide, today, to regularly practice being gentle with ourselves and experience the wonderful unfolding firsthand. You and I can discover peace, joy, and creative productivity even in the chaos that swirls around us. You and I can also be more compassionate with others when we practice compassion on ourselves.
Gentle is as gentle does.
How do you – or would you – practice self-care and gentleness with yourself? Please feel free to share in the Comments section.
For several months I’ve been putting my own precious creative practice first in many situations. Not every single day, but often enough to have increased my levels of joy and deepened my connection to my muse. This morning I received a test.
I woke up to a stressful work situation in an email. It was supposed to be time for my creative practice. BUT I didn’t feel like being creative because, suddenly, I was stressed to the eyeballs.
I sat down and started journaling about it, asking for a different way to handle it. I knew my first perceived option was going to cause me even more stress. But the stress itself wouldn’t let me see past it to another way. I kept going, kept writing, not seeing any light dawning. Then, without any fanfare (I could have missed it if I wasn’t paying attention) the solution typed itself onto my screen.
I was relieved to see another way, but the stress was still sitting heavy on me. So I started writing about the gorgeous spring scene outside my window. And promising myself a walk in the sunshine right after breakfast. Most of the stress flowed out of me almost like magic!
It reminds me of a book called DO ONE THING DIFFERENT. I haven’t actually read the book but sometimes just remembering the title helps.
I also journaled a Note to Self: that I need to not open certain work emails right before my precious creative time. It’s not hard to know which ones those would be. And, let’s face it. There’s usually nothing so urgent in my email first thing in the morning that couldn’t wait until after my special writing time. So just don’t open them! One of those “Duhs” that can be hard to see unless you really set an intention to do things differently.
And now I’m off for a walk in the sunshine. Yum yum yum.
P.S. The solution that came to me in my journaling is actually going to take a fraction of the time that my first stress-soaked solution would have. I love that.
Milli, that’s so cool how you went to your journal rather than try and deal with the stressful situation first. I’m pleased to hear you found the solution on the page, in process. It just proves the point again and again how many rewards are waiting for us if we honour our regular writing practice! Ah, and I even feel less stressed just reading about what happened to you.
I ‘hear ya’ about opening up those dreaded emails first thing, and so right that most of it isn’t urgent and can certainly wait an hour or two to be answered. You’ve encouraged me once again to ‘not even go there’ until I get some of my own writing time in the morning.
Thanks for recommending DO ONE THING DIFFERENT. I’m going to check it out.
The Secret of Life is one of my favorite songs of all time and has the same effect on me as it does on you. I’m really starting to wonder if we aren’t actually twins separated at birth, LOL.
Great post! It’s so easy to forget that real change takes time, and that taking time for ourselves actually makes us more productive, not less. These ideas run counter to most of the messages our culture gives us.
In the last several years, I’ve burned myself out enough times that I’m finally starting to be proactive about it and take breaks before that happens…but every so often, I forget again.
And when you add emotional upheaval to the mix, creative practice and down time become that much more important–even though those are the times we’re most likely to skip out on them.
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LOL. Isn’t it uncanny, though, all the commonalities between us? By the way, that James Taylor song has been regularly infusing hope in my heart since I bought that excellent ‘JT’ album at 17…
I’m so glad you’ve regularly encouraged me to develop/maintain creative practice (even if it’s only 10 minutes a day), no matter what happens in my life. It’s really made a significant difference
I love your phrase “smiling even when my mind is in turmoil”, Susan. I appreciate your perseverance and pragmatism through life challenges; I know you’ve had more than your fair share of them!
You’re so right to highlight the importance of taking care of our physical selves and how that gives us the strength to get through the difficult times. That’s something we have in our control to change for sure.
And thanks so much for the encouragement, as always. Here’s hoping you get a windfall any day now and allow yourself to spend it on a pedicure!
Just as when I changed my diet after I found out I had Type II diabetes, you need to do it one step at a time (or one meal at a time). If you aren’t good to you, you don’t have the energy or resources to cope with all the stuff life throws at you.
I keep going to the chiropractor because it makes me feel like I’m doing something to help my neck heal. I take the time to read that fiction novel because I come away from it with a new point of view and feel refreshed by my break from the frenetic world of WSIB forms and anxiety over whether or not I can meet my bills this week. I walk my dogs every day (even in the rain) because they love it, and love me for it, and fresh air always helps.
Smiling even when my mind is in turmoil helps, too. Somehow those little facial muscles can affect my mood – and how others react to me.
It may not be a manicure or pedicure (I love pedicures), but it’s still something that I do for me.
Take care, CJ, and know that it’s okay to lean on others when life swamps you. No one thinks less of you – or thinks you’re incompetent (my worry at times) or weak for asking for assistance. You do nice things for others all the time – let us do things for you, too.
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