A penny saved is a penny earned – Benjamin Franklin
The following is a post I wrote last year around the same time for a blog ring on the topic of consumerism, initiated by fellow writer Sue Mitchell.
We watch all kinds of television specials and Hallmark movies around this time of year that emphasize the true meaning of the holidays.
Yet, we really don’t allow ourselves the time or the opportunity to try and live it out in reality with our families and friends.
We’re frazzled and overworked with all the extra demands on our time, and our wallets. One of the most daunting and time-consuming tasks is buying gifts for everyone on our list.
Did you ever feel like you really wanted to have a different experience this year and not get so tapped out financially, emotionally, physically?
The constant barrage of advertisements on the Internet, on t.v. and on the radio remind kids of all ages what they absolutely need to ask Santa for this year, usually high-priced electronic items.
People now seem to be resorting to violence – rough, rude – and occasionally downright dangerous – competitive shopping behavior.
Take for example, this past Black Friday (tradition in the U.S. when many retail stores offer significant discounts on a handful of coveted items the day after Thanksgiving).
The bargain hunters fight earnestly through the large crowds, feeling victorious if they succeed in purchasing one of these ‘deals’. It doesn’t matter that they might have a large outstanding amount to pay off already on their credit cards; they go ahead and buy it anyway.
Who has convinced you that this is a must-have item anyway?
If society on the whole didn’t have the expectations that people would be spending all this money buying almost everyone they know gifts, would you still be doing it?
You can be an example to your children, family, co-workers and friends how to have a wonderful Christmas experience without incurring crippling debt that will be hanging over your head and causing your family more stress and untold financial consequences for the rest of the year (or longer).
According to the Federal Reserve, personal consumption debt in the U.S. is $6,672 per household (U.S. Census data, 2010). Add the $13,660 of non-revolving debt per household (car loans, furniture and consumer electronics) and you have most families carrying pretty much $20,000 of consumer debt. I believe the statistics in Canada are more or less the same.
Most of us buy way more than we’ll be able to pay for, for a very long time…
And still, the average family will spend over $800 for gift-giving this year.
So that awesome deal on a tablet or video game console you snagged and charged on your credit card at a popular electronics outlet on Black Friday will probably end up costing you more than the regular purchase price in the long-run, if you’re carrying over an outstanding credit card balance month after month.
As you know, if you’re not paying off your credit card balance every month, you’re paying a hefty interest on the balance owing. You might end up paying more for that coveted piece of electronic equipment that will become obsolete in a few years and have wasted all the time it took to research the deal online and then get to the store, and wait in overcrowded parking lots and long lineups at the cash.
In the end, you probably won’t really save anything and the credit card companies will be dancing a merry jig because you’re making their profits soar.
The companies that are paying big bucks on effective (and sometimes deceptive) advertising to sell you their products but making a boatload of profit in return – and the credit card companies who are making it easier and easier for you to rack up more and more debt to eagerly buy all these things – are playing you for a holiday fool.
If you don’t have money saved up that is specifically put aside to buy gifts, how about trying one of these two new traditions this year (or a combination) :
1. Buy only one gift for each person rather than several.
2. Make and give handcrafted gifts.
Think you don’t have time to make gifts?
Consider this scenario that is probably played out in every suburb of North America during the holidays, over and over again :
1. Time to get kids organized/off the computer/etc and packed into car to head to mall: 20 mins + an Advil
2. Drive to the mall: 20 mins
3. Pull over at least once on way to the mall to answer urgent text message: 10 mins each time
4. Get to mall, circle parking lot several times before finding a spot: 15 mins
5. Walking into mall entrance, negotiating with bickering teens when and where to rendez-vous after shopping: 15 mins
6. Exhausting yourself as you try and find as many things as you can in overcrowded stores with a sweat-soaked gift list in hand- 3+ hours
7. Walking all over the mall trying to find said teens when they don’t show up as planned: 1 hour
8. Travelling back home, despairing because you’ll have to do this at least two more times before the unwrapping blitz day – 20 mins
Total time this trip = 6+ hrs
Total $ spent = “Clears throat uncomfortably”
Even if you don’t have kids or your children are adults, you may feel pressured to spend lots of time and money as well finding gifts for the people on your list.
At the very least, challenge yourself to spend half of what you usually do.
There are so many great websites that offer great low-cost ideas and free patterns sure to spark your creativity and enthusiasm. Here’s a few to get your crafting mojo running: Homemade Gifts made easy ;The Crafty Nest; Family Crafts;Easy knitted gifts.
Total time spent with or making gifts for loved ones = 15+ hours
Joy of creating a one-of-a-kind gift they’ll really appreciate and treasure always = PRICELESS
Take the pressure off yourself and your debt load by not getting carried away by the seasonal hype. Practice kindness towards yourself, your loved ones, and the environment by consuming less and contributing more value in gift-giving that has lasting meaning and use – for both you and the recipient.
You don’t have to be a slave to consumerism to buy happiness, or the perfect holiday experience.
Glad you re-posted this. Last year I made a lot of gifts and I plan to do the same this year. Also, it’s good to shop at “little box” stores–the neighborhood boutique or store that is not part of a huge mega-chain. The other thing my family does is try to concentrate on enjoying events together–going to the Christmas tree farm–rather than presents.
Charlotte Rains Dixon recently posted..Radical Gratitude
Hi Charlotte,
So glad you enjoyed this post again this year. I believe it’s even more relevant. Can you believe we now have Black Friday sales in our retail stores in Canada, and we don’t even celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving?
We’re doing almost all our shopping at local stores or craft sales (buying from handcrafters directly) again this year. It’s a much more satisfying experience for us. I’m also going to try and make a few gifts this year, but it’ll have to wait until the first week of December after I recover from Nanowrimo
I love the closeness and genuine bond you seem to have with your family. I’m so impressed how make the time to cultivate wonderful memories with your children (and grandchild!) like going out to get a Christmas tree together
Love this. The year I got laid-off, I made a decision to re-gift what my kids had used once (told my sis about it since they were for her kids). And cut off everyone’s else kids and friends from my list. Kept around less than 10 people on my list. Made a bunch of small gifts for when I go visiting around Christmas. Pretty much have kept to this since then. I hate shopping to start with and having a whole bunch of people to buy for was just too stressful. Nowadays I probably buy gifts for around 10 people (my kids included). And I never spend what I can’t pay for. No one ever should.
Hi Laura,
I’m so encouraged to hear about your frugal and responsible gift-giving practices. I really do despair watching how some people spend and even complain about the spending, knowing full well they are piling on the debt and perpetuating the expectation from kids to keep getting all these gadgets. Not to mention the pressure/expectation on adult recipients of such ridiculously expensive gifts to return in kind.
Oh Carole, another wonderful post by You! So much information and so many concepts to think about! I went to all the homemade gift/craft sites in your article except the knitting one (because I don’t knit!). But I did sign up for newsletters for the others. SO many great resources here. I think I am going to give you a nickname, “The Resource Queen” because your articles have so many great resources.
I have avoided most of the “crazy” you describe so well in this article by just not participating. I’m not rude or in a bad mood about it, I am just mostly homebound with no family close by. I used to do so much at Christmas I was exhausted, so I relate to all you wrote. I do like making things for people and love the homemade gifts my mom sends me at Christmas and birthday. Recent years my lifestyle changed and so has my Christmas activities. It’s quieter now. I do miss some of it.
LOL I love it: ‘Resource Queen’ ! Thanks, Terri. It’s quite important to me to be useful, so I’m happy you’re getting a lot of value from my posts.
How lovely that your mom makes and sends you gifts at Christmas and for your birthday; handmade gifts are truly the best. Except for sewing which she gave up a long while ago, my mom isn’t really into handmade, so I’m not sure where I got my obsession with crafts from
My goal for this Christmas season is to get through it without visiting a mall. So far, so good. I’m also making gifts this year for the first time in years, and loving it. Also, over the last couple of years we’ve given up our reliance on credit cards and that makes me happier than just about anything. We have one more to finish paying off and then we’re done. When I think of all the people who are charging up their cards this year, it makes me physically ill. I’m a bit late to the game, but thanks for this series–I’m off to read the posts at the other blogs now.
I’m glad I decided to tweet this post again today; I’m always worried about too much social media blitzing lol. But I’m very passionate about this issue, as are my fellow writers for this blog party/ring. So glad you’re giving up the ‘chhaarge it!’ race (remember Betty and Wilma in the Flintstones by any chance? hehe).
My hubby and I haven’t gone near a mall this year either. This past weekend we strolled along the business section of the town nearby; it was like a scene out of ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, I swear. So relaxing and so great to meet and have brief chats with the gracious (and apppreciative) shop owners as we made our various purchases.
I just got all warm and fuzzy imagining you sitting in front of your fireplace knitting your lovely new grandson Henry something special….
Carole –
Yes, you’re exactly right. Practically speaking, what Christmas is really should be about is acknowledging those in our lives that we love in ways that are truly meaningful.
(And, yes, I think Jesus would approve.)
– Daniel
Daniel Brenton recently posted..SOPA/Protect-IP – Round 2: Call Your Senator Day
Hi Daniel,
Welcome, the water is warm!
I have to say that I always liked the premise of The Little Drummer Boy. Here’s this young nomad (I’m assuming) with just a drum, a tender heart, and a lotta talent, but not much else. The story goes that he has no gifts to bring “that’s fit to give a king” and so he gives something of himself (his talent). According to the lyrics, Jesus did approve, indeed.
I think if we practiced the pure, childlike spirit of giving authentically one to another, this crazy world sure would be less so.
So glad you stopped by
Great tips from all of you!
Growing up I will admit that I was spoiled, associating Christmas with lots of presents. It didn’t occur to me until I became an adult that these annual spending sprees and consumption binges took away from what the holidays are really about, namely a time to relax with loved ones.
Now that I’ve “grown up” (somewhat), I’ve chosen to not exchange gifts for the last few years, and the holidays have been a lot more relaxing as a result.
However I know that the giving and receiving of gifts is still important to many, so I posted my tips for those who still want to shop, but would prefer to shop for the good.
http://su.pr/1siddR
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo recently posted..Soul: ME Time – The Necessity of Self-Care
Hi Sabrina!
Thanks for stopping by. It sure is a LOT less pressure not running around buying a bazillion gifts and not even being sure why…etc lol.
I think giving and receiving gifts is very important; I just believe it would be much more responsible and meaningful if consumerism and greed wasn’t the driving machine behind most of the whole gift exchange custom during the holidays.
So nice to meet you Carole! I am just delighted that our friend Sue put this little consumerism blog ring together. It is heart warming to realize we all share some of the same thoughts and I’m hopeful that our stand will help make a difference for a few of our readers!
Kathy Sprinkle recently posted..The Green Christmas Inquiry – 8 ways to Celebrate with Mother Earth’s Blessing
Hi Kathy,
Lovely to meet you as well. I’m also really grateful to Sue for asking us to band together and write about this timely subject.
It is indeed really cool how we do share the same views about spending less and being more creative and thoughtful and environmentally conscientious.
Let’s hope more and more people will open their minds and hearts to the possibilities we’ve presented. Cheers!
What an eloquent description of those dreaded holiday trips to the Mall! I’m ready to take a vow to stay out of malls and big boxes this year. It can be hard because even when I have the best intentions to eschew all those electronics for gifts. This is great encouragement.
Sarah O recently posted..Foster Wellness In Your Community: Shop Local And Independent This Holiday Season
Hi Sarah, welcome!
I have a confession to make – I don’t have kids, nor did I have that mall experience growing up LOL. However, I have worked directly with many a family who exemplified the overwhelm quite clearly for me (in a past vocational life I was a social-worker type). As well I’ve supported many a frazzled woman friend over the years as she tried to get through the hectic holidays in one piece!
So glad you’re encouraged to try a different way. Maybe the solution is to implement small changes gradually, year after year, rather than cold-turkey approach (and probably avoid the cold shoulder from young disgruntled relatives who didn’t get that electronic gadget they were expecting hehe). I still believe even those kids would feel better about ‘less’ in the long-run in exchange for receiving something truly personalized and meaningful. Like blood from a stone, you can’t squeeze those loving feelings out of that Xbox lol.
It’s great to get here and check out your work Carole! What a nice connection.
I’ve actually been working on this for years now, each holiday season I commit to spending less, creating more, and shopping local. But there’s always those few gifts that I can only find at the big boxes. I live in a small town so there’s not as many options in the mom & pop stores. For example, it’s almost impossible to find sheets and towels from an independent retailer (at anything near a price I can afford.)
So… it’s not exactly cold turkey, but since the nest is empty and we’re not even going to do Christmas here at our place, I think this really might be the year I can keep the vow. We’ll see…
Sarah O recently posted..Make Bath Cookies For Holiday Gifts (And Other Homemade Gift Ideas)
Hiya Susan,
Oh, how I admire your parents! See, they really did foster a great frugal and valuable legacy how to ‘do’ the holidays respectfully. Look at all the life skills you kids learned in the process!
Your Christmas experience with your family growing up is so encouraging to read about. I really think more families would be so much more creative, financially stable and emotionally healthy if they could only not succumb to the status quo.
“What a (more) wonderful world this could be”
So glad you shared this with us. Thanks!
What a great theme, and what a great post! This is timely and valuable, and how great you’re coordinating with others, I will check those out as well.
During a financial rough patch about eight years ago I forced myself to go through a Simplification; I capitalize it because it was hugely transformational, stripping myself of so many personal possessions (I kept most of my books!). Since then I’ve come to learn what is truly valuable when it comes to receiving gifts, a lesson in line with yours; I value those that come with thought from the giver to the receiver. Ones where the person has sought to connect with me through the gift. That rarely means having to spend a lot of money. I try to practice the same policy with my giftgiving.
Patrick Ross recently posted..Showing AND Telling
Thanks and glad you liked this one, Patrick! It’s really wonderful to hear that from your Simplification came Emancipation and clarity. It’s a theme after my own heart. I too, love gifts where the giver is offering me something that is meaningful to me personally, and not some generic item they picked up out of obligation.
Simplification (voluntary or arbitrary) truly brings peace and actually…less responsibility and burden. I’ve personally found I have extra time and space open up where I can think and plan clearly and be thoughtful in my gift-giving, make as many handcrafted gifts as time allows. It’s a shame more people don’t try that on for size in their lives and discover all the riches buried there
Brilliant!
My parents, even when were children, set limits on what we could spend on Christmas (and other occasion) gifts. $20 was expected to buy something for each of my brothers, and any aunts and uncles, plus my grandmother, who were going to be at the house for Christmas. Right from the beginning, it encouraged us to think creatively.
We made our own wrapping paper, too, colouring and painting pictures on grocery bags, or reusing wrapping paper from previous year’s gifts. Sometimes the wrapping was part of the present.
For example, my younger brother collected up all his oddments of Lego one year, and built me a stable for my plastic ponies. We shared the Lego again later, but I remember that gift fondly. I probably gave him a certificate that let him skip a week of dishes or something.
I made stockings for my aunts and uncles out of old pantyhose and embroidered their names on them in wool, and put in sample size shampoo and colognes, and maybe a chocolate or two. My grandmother (depending on which one came for Christmas) got a fancy card (the other grandmother got hers in the mail), and a tiny sampler box of chocolate or a handmade frame for my school photo.
Not every gift has to cost the earth, and it’s okay to tell your kids that there’s a limit on shopping. Santa didn’t bring everything on my list (I never did get the pony that was the only thing on my list most years), but I was always happy with what I got, even though some years it was all books, clothes and knitted mittens.
Susan, I love how your family handled gift giving!
Carole, this post affected me in the pit of my stomach. When I think of all the millions of people who are feeling the pressure to “charge it” right now in order to live up to these externally imposed expectations, my heart just sinks. I absolutely love your breakdown of the time spent shopping (plus the Advil).
We can save ourselves so much time, money and frustration by having holidays that are more like what Susan describes above.
Sue Mitchell recently posted..6 1/2 Ways Consumerism Impacts Your Creativity
I have the same physical and emotional symptoms as you, Sue. It hurts me how people cave and harm themselves by getting too far into debt. What makes me angriest though, are the true villains – the credit card companies that make it so very easy. I just want to scream when I think of that deceptive ‘Minimum payment’ section on the bill statements.
That said, it really is quite moving to see someone’s life completely change by whittling down their debt load and making healthier financial choices. I’ve been privileged to witness this miracle close up, and it spurs me on with optimism that people can have a life-altering experience and in turn encourage others to do likewise.
Have you seen the movie “Maxed Out”? It’s about credit card debt and how the credit card companies PREFER customers who can’t pay because then they have a guaranteed stream of payments for the rest of that customer’s life.
Sue Mitchell recently posted..The 5 S’s: Magic Bullets for Blasting Through Creative Blocks